


The Great Birthday Massacre of St. Valentine's Day

by orphan_account



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Being Goro Is Suffering, Birthday, Chatlogs, Crack, First Kiss, Fluff, Futaba Possesses Goro's Electronics, Humor, Just A Little Betrayal, Love Confessions, M/M, Once again I bring you a stupid thing, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Revenge Plots, Surprise Party, Valentine's Day, no beta we die like my hopes and dreams, nothing actually gets massacred except maybe goro's dignity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22685482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In theory, throwing a last minute birthday party for Ren—who had the (mis)fortune of being born the day before Valentine's Day—seemed like a good idea.But between Leblanc nearly burning down, being forced to fight swarms of love-struck shoppers over chocolate, and discovering that he had an extreme allergy to the flowers they've chosen for decorations, Goro's tempted to ruin the PT's plans and steal Ren away for a birthday dinner alone.A charming tale of friendship, love, betrayal, andrevenge.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Kudos: 410





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon Joker's birthday being on 13 February because:  
> a) I think it's cute that the two Jokers of the Persona franchise have back-to-back birthdays  
> b) I think it's funny that Joker got out of juvie on his birthday. (I may be a horrible person. Hint: I am )

** Friday, 12 February: Late Night **

There was a list of things that Goro Akechi had begrudgingly come to accept about the Phantom Thieves.

One of the biggest sticking points on the list was that, no matter how much Goro himself might have disagreed, the other Phantom Thieves thought that he was one of them. As such, they decided all major decisions that impacted the group also impacted him, regardless of his own personal feelings towards the matter. This inane type of kindness terrorism was unwelcomed and unliked, but the Phantom Thieves possessed more tenacity than a hoard of roaches. Goro found himself slowly, mortifyingly become a genuine part of the group over the years. His walls, which he spent years building out of necessity and then reinforcing for survival, were worn gently away by an unrelenting tide of human decency and kindness.

Goro was not pulled into their group kicking and screaming so much as he was gently eroded into it. By the time he realized what was going on, he had settled like sediment into their ranks, and it was too late to do anything about it.

Another point on the list was that the Phantom Thieves had an uncanny tendency to create chaos. They were never going to top the chaos that was generated during the peak of their popularity, but that didn't stop them from trying. 

A simple group outing to an art gallery resulted in a mad paint-off between Yusuke, a rival artist, and Ren's joke pick of Morgana. Morgana had ended up winning—proving to Goro that modern art was a fraud—and the ensuing chaos resulted in Ren, Ryuji, and Futaba getting banned from the gallery for life. 

A planned _yozakura_ was prematurely terminated when Ann ran into a few of her modelling friends. Somehow that led to Futaba getting stuck in a tree, Morgana, Haru, and Mika getting stuck in another tree, and the entire combined group of thieves and models nearly getting arrested for arson.

A trip to the beach ended before they even made it to the beach, because when Makoto's vehicle broke down, their grand solution to the problem was to have Morgana steal car parts from another car. Unethical as it was, that only escalated when it turned out that the car Morgana had stolen from belonged to the new Chief of Police—a man whom Goro had worked with in the past and would definitely remember who Goro was if they saw each other. Goro had ended up under several layers of beach towels and various beach paraphernalia, forced to lie still as Makoto drove like traffic laws were a suggestion rather than a rule in order to evade the police.

Sometimes, Goro hated the Phantom Thieves a little.

Most of the time, though, Goro could admit to himself that he liked them just enough to tolerate them. Maybe enough to actually enjoy spending time with them. Which led to yet another point: Goro doubted that half of the Phantom Thieves actually possessed working brains, but he could not deny that they were good and caring people at heart. Sure, they were rough around the edges, prone to acts of delinquency and petty crime, and had a knack for getting into trouble with law enforcement, but they were certainly better than the people Goro had spent time with before.

As it turned out, hanging around people who _weren't_ trying to take over the country via means of murder and manipulation did wonders for his mental health. And even if the Phantom Thieves did occasionally cause him undue amounts of stress with their penchant for trouble, it was still leagues better than the sort of stress he was under before.

Which led to the point on the list Goro was repeating to himself as he gazed with despair upon the messages in the new group chat that he was invited into at 11:49 at night.

The Phantom Thieves had no concept of time management.

"They have no concept of time management," Goro said to himself through gritted teeth. "None at all."

> `**Ann** : Hey everyone! This is the "planning for Ren's surprise birthday party at the last minute" group chat!  
>  **Ann** : DON'T INVITE REN INTO IT`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : oh shit`
> 
> `**Ann** : RYUJI  
>  **Ann** : ARE YOU SERIOUS`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : i didn't do anything! just almost replied to the wrong chat`
> 
> `**Makoto** : This is already starting off on a very promising note.  
>  **Makoto** : Everyone, Ann and I were talking earlier about how Ren didn't seem to have plans for his birthday, and since it's falling on a Saturday, we thought it would be a nice idea to arrange a surprise party for him that afternoon.`
> 
> `**Haru** : That sounds wonderful! I would be glad to help, and I can provide any monetary or travel assistance.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Niiiiice. We got ourselves a sweet patron!`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : That sounds delightful. I myself have been caught up in the waves of a rather distressing bout of artist's block. Perhaps being among the chaos of the group to celebrate Ren's arrival to the world is just the magic I need to be rid of it.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Maybe that's how we could get Ren away from Leblanc. Yusuke, tell him you want to paint him nude at your place!`
> 
> `**Ann** : Uhhhhh...`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : A nude painting of Ren... Yes, an excellent idea! And the completed piece could serve as my birthday present to him as well.`
> 
> `**Makoto** : I'm not sure if that's the best idea, honestly...`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : he might agree to be nude, but i don't think he's the kind of guy that wants a naked painting of himself for a present`
> 
> `**Haru** : A nude painting of Ren might sell well, though. I do know of some art collectors who like that sort of thing.`
> 
> `**Ann** : UHHHHHHHHH`
> 
> `**Goro** : Forgive me for dragging the conversation back on topic, but what, exactly, is the current plan for Ren's surprise party?`
> 
> `**Ann** : That's what this chat's for! We don't have a plan.`
> 
> `**Goro** : You are aware that his birthday is technically in less than ten minutes?`
> 
> `**Ann** : That's why we're planning to have the party later in the day!`
> 
> `**Makoto** : It's not ideal, but this is very last minute. I don't think Ren would want a big production, so I was thinking of something small and easy to put together. A cake, of course, but perhaps also some food? Futaba, could you ask Boss if we could take over Leblanc and use the kitchen in the evening?`
> 
> `**Futaba** : I mentioned to him that we were gonna plan a surprise party, and he gave in and let us have free reign before I could even ask! Leblanc's all ours! So let's get thinking about what to make!`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : don't ask me. i don't know how to cook, so i shouldn't decide`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : Anything would be wonderful, so long as there is plenty of it.`
> 
> `**Ann** : Ooo, crepes! Or maybe macarons?`
> 
> `**Makoto** : We're going to have a cake, Ann. Also, I don't know if we have the skills or equipment to make those things.`
> 
> `**Haru** : I have a crepe pan at home! I am not quite skilled enough to make them, however.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Hang on, does anyone here other than Makoto know how to cook?`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : nope`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : Cooking is an art I have yet to grasp.`
> 
> `**Ann** : Not really?`
> 
> `**Haru** : I'm afraid I only have the very basics down...`
> 
> `**Goro** : Cooking requires more delicate work with a blade than I am capable of.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Makoto, it's up to you to save us all.`
> 
> `**Makoto** : ...I see... I'll prepare a menu by tomorrow, then. Who wants to be in charge of decorations?`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : I, of course, am the only correct choice.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : I'll babysit.`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : Excuse me?`
> 
> `**Ann** : Great! Futaba and Yusuke's in charge of decorating Leblanc!`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : I do not understand what you meant by proclaiming that you are going to 'babysit' me, Futaba. Do you doubt my artistic skills? How recent is this development?`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : oh no. he's gotten started`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Mweheheheheh!`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : don't creepy laugh about it!`

It was at that point Goro muted the group chat and pulled up the covers over his head. In the complete darkness beneath his comforter, he watched as the time on his phone slowly turned to midnight. 

Goro unlocked his phone and swiped away the group chat, which had exploded with another 128 messages in the few minutes since he'd muted it. He pulled up an individual message thread and stared at it for a few seconds before slowly typing in a single sentence:

> `**Goro** : Happy birthday.`
> 
> `**Ren** : You're the first one to wish me happy birthday. Congratulations on winning.`
> 
> `**Goro** : Oh? What have I won?`
> 
> `**Ren** : Morgana telling you to go to bed.`
> 
> `**Goro** : That is an incredibly shitty prize.`
> 
> `**Ren** : Winners can't be choosers? If it helps, he's telling me the same thing. Except I have to put up with his actual voice and him taking swipes at my hands trying to knock the phone away.`
> 
> `**Goro** : He's just a cat. You don't have to put up with anything from him if you don't want to.`
> 
> `**Ren** : If I didn't know it before, this would be how I learned you never had a cat in your life.  
>  **Ren** : also obligatory "I'm not a cat" from Morgana`
> 
> `**Goro** : Good night, Ren and his cat.`
> 
> `**Ren** : why would you do that he just screamed in my ear`

Goro went to sleep with a smile on his face and the most important point from his list on his mind:

The Phantom Thieves may have successfully stolen his heart without need of the Metaverse, but it was Ren Amamiya who kept it.


	2. Chapter 2

** Saturday, 13 February: Early Morning **

Goro woke to the sound of his notifications going off rapid-fire, his phone vibrating so much that it nearly fell off his nightstand before he went to pick up. It was still vibrating in his hand, and that, combined with the fact that the noise woke him up a full half-hour before his alarm was due to go off, put him in an exceptionally bad mood. 

His mood only worsened when he saw what the non-stop notifications were about. The disastrous surprise party group chat was now unmuted, and each of the **356** new messages was giving off an individual notification.

There was a single notification that remained pinned to the top of his phone, unmoving even as the group chat's notifications zoomed along the screen.

> `**Futaba** : You're lucky I waited until morning, Traitor.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Catch up! You've got a part to play in all of this, and I won't let you worm your way out of this one!`

Goro let out a growl of frustration and shoved his phone beneath his pillow. Going back to sleep would be a waste of time. His phone kept up the muffled buzzing and trilling through his shower, his breakfast, his make up application, and most of his early morning studying session.

It finally stopped right before Goro's remaining patience was completely worn through, but he hardly was able to spend two minutes reading through his notes about the Meiji Restoration in peace before his phone rang.

Goro sighed and put his face in his hands. He waited until it reached his voicemail, and then, unfortunately, it rang again. He swore loudly in his empty apartment, dug his phone out from under his pillows, and was utterly unsurprised to find Futaba calling him.

He answered the phone but did not bring it to his ear. Instead, he held it as Futaba's faint, tinny voice launched into a rant. He paid her no mind and set the phone down next to his study materials. She existed as background chatter as he read about the influences of the Meiji Restoration on modern day policy, but when the phone fell silent, Goro lifted his head up from his notes. 

Dread crept up his spine when Goro noticed that, despite the silence, the call was still ongoing. He stared at his phone, anxiety turning his stomach into knots. He nearly fell out of his seat when the phone suddenly switched to speaker, and Futaba's voice became magnified through the power of her voice and the phone's max volume settings.

"YOU FOOL," she boomed as Goro clutched the edge of his desk. "Did you really think you could just ignore me!? Get your nose out of your books, and get your butt over to Leblanc!"

Goro scowled at the phone. "Did it occur to any of you that I might have already had plans for the day?"

"Pfft. Oh, please. I know you're just going to be studying something boring like the Meiji Restoration and moping all day."

Goro glanced at his notes. Then he glared at the phone. "Futaba, just how many bugs do you have on me?"

"None, believe it or not. You're just predictable."

Goro took enough offense to that statement to end the call. Unsurprisingly, his phone ran again a second later, then it answered itself and turned the speaker phone on by itself again.

"You jerk," Futaba yelled at him. "Don't get mad at me for speaking the truth!"

Goro did not respond, but he begrudgingly started putting away his notes.

"Ugh, anyway, Makoto decided to be nice to you and send you a message about our finalized plans. Be sure to thank her. Since you decided to mute the chat and not give us any input, you got saddled with all the stuff that no one else wanted to do."

"Of course I did," Goro muttered to himself. 

"No complaining! If you'd actually give us your input, we could have figured something else out. Luckily for you, the worst of it is just shopping. But you're also on errand duty. Read Makoto's text if you want deets, just keep in mind that if you back out, then everyone's part will be affected! This is all about teamwork!"

"Teamwork," Goro repeated with no enthusiasm in his voice, but he had picked up the phone and was carrying it with him to get his outerwear together. "You know, this was why I worked alone for so long."

"Well, you're not alone anymore. You've got us, whether you like it or not," Futaba said, and it wasn't right that anyone could say something like that so flippantly. "So don't skip out! If you do, I'll find ways to terrorize your digital life that'll make you want to move out to the middle of the mountains and become an ascetic."

"Ah, you've finally revealed your true plans to me. How foolish."

Futaba gave an over-exaggerated gasp. "Oh, no! How could you trick me, you dastard? Fie! I'll have to rework my evil plans."

Despite his best effort, Goro still found himself smiling as he set the phone down to put on his coat. "That's a waste of time. Justice always triumphs in the end."

"Oh, you think you're the just one? Explains a lot. Anyway, I expect you to be in Leblanc within a half hour," Futaba commanded as Goro wrapped a scarf around his neck. "If you're late, we're going to assign you to latrine duty!" She then hung up.

Something else that made it onto Goro's list was that no matter how absurd something might sound, if it came out of the mouth of one of the Phantom Thieves, there was a high possibility that it was true. Goro didn't know if latrine duty was an actual role they'd created for the party, but he wasn't going to find out by being the one stuck with it.

Exactly twenty-five minutes later, he walked up to Leblanc's front door. The day was slightly overcast, but there was no wind. The temperature was chilly but not freezing. There were worse conditions to be celebrating a birthday.

Goro opened the door. Black plumes of smoke immediately poured out from the interior of Leblanc, along with the sounds of several people shouting in panic.

Goro closed the door. He turned around, walked away, and pulled out his phone.

"HEY," Ryuji yelled at the same time the door slammed open, smoke billowing out of Leblanc like a miasma, "don't just walk away from here like nothing's wrong!"

Goro had only managed to punch in the first number for emergency services, but he turned back and addressed Ryuji anyway. "I'm well aware that something is wrong; that's why I'm calling the fire department."

"No, don't!" Ann shouted, and Goro saw her standing behind Ryuji, fanning the smoke out the door with a magazine. "It's just a little smoke!"

"A 'little' smoke."

"Okay," she said in between coughs, "a lot of smoke. But nothing's on fire!"

"The kitchen's on fire!" Morgana's tiny lungs still managed to reach outside with alarming clarity. "There's fire!!"

"Why is the kitchen on fire?!" Futaba suddenly yelled. "WHO THE HECK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING IT?!"

"Oh, shit," Ryuji said, going pale. Behind him, Ann dropped the magazine as she dashed back into Leblanc's kitchen.

"Oh my god," Goro heard her screech as Ryuji ran after her. "HOW?!"

"I don't know, maybe because you two left it alone!? You were supposed to be watching it while I was trying to open the windows in the attic!"

"Lady Ann, don't worry! I'll protect you from the flames!"

"How the hell are you gonna protect anyone when you ain't got any opposable thumbs, ya dumb cat? Now get out of the way! I got the fire extinguisher!"

Goro gingerly pushed the door open further with his foot. The smell of burnt carbon and melting plastic followed the wafts of inky black smoke. Then, amidst the haze, a figure came shambling out of Leblanc.

"My eyes," Yusuke said, clutching his eyes as he walked out into the middle of the street. "They sting! No...! If I lose my sight, how shall I continue to paint? What will I do with my life?"

Yet another point on the list: Every single one of the Phantom Thieves was an idiot.

"You won't have much of a life left if you keep standing in the middle of the road," Goro said. Yusuke did not respond, standing with his face upturned to the sky and a hand across his eyes. Goro felt a stab of irritation, ignored it, and grabbed Yusuke by the shoulders with a sigh. "You should get off the road before you get run over."

"My artistic career shall be what is run over if anything should befall my eyes."

To his immense frustration, Goro found that Yusuke's height advantage made him infuriatingly difficult to maneuver. "Your artistic career will also be over if you die. Get. Off. The. Street."

Yusuke dropped his hand from his face and went limp. Like a long, heavy wet noodle, he nearly fell out of Goro's grasp. "I need to rinse them out," he said sullenly, "but Leblanc is filled with smoke... Where else can I go? Perhaps," he said, straightening as Goro finally managed to haul him onto the sidewalk, "the bathhouse?"

"Sure," Goro grumbled. "Go there. Wash out your eyes. I'll call the fire department in the meantime."

There was a shriek from somewhere behind him, and then there was a panicked, flailing Futaba attached to his back.

"Don't call the fire department," she yelled as Goro tried not to fall over. "Sojiro's having a nice, restful day off! He can't know that we almost set his store on fire!"

"I would think," Goro hissed as he bumped into Yusuke, who had his eyes closed and was slowly shuffling towards the general direction of the bathhouse, "that he would be the most important person to contact after the fire department precisely because _his cafe is on fire_."

"It's not on fire anymore," Ann yelled from the door. "We put it out with the fire extinguisher!"

"The stock's ruined, though," Ryuji yelled from behind her. "I, uh, might have gotten extinguisher gunk all over the other ingredients, too."

"You got that stuff on me," Morgana moaned. "I'm gonna die!"

"You can't tell Sojiro," Futaba continued, beating Goro's back as he tried to figure out the best way to get her off him without resorting to throwing her. "This is the first time I've been left in charge of Leblanc for an event! His trust meter is gonna go back down to zero if he finds out!"

Goro tried spinning around quickly as a method of getting her off. "You set his store on fire!"

It didn't work. Futaba remained on his back. "Ryuji and Ann set his store on fire, you mean!"

"I'm sorry! We didn't mean to!"

"Yeah! We were just, ya know, distracted."

"Ugh, I'm afraid to lick myself! I'm gonna need a bath to get this off!"

It was then that Makoto and Haru finally showed up.

"What on earth is going on," Makoto said, sounding remarkably like Sae when she was upset. "Is— Is that _smoke_ coming out from Leblanc?!"

Futaba let out a sheepish squeak and jumped off Goro's back. 

"I can call the fire department," Haru said, pulling out her phone. Futaba ran up to her and grabbed her phone out of her hands.

"Nonono! Everything's fine! There's no fire!"

"Y-yeah," Ann said, shoving Ryuji and the fire extinguisher he was holding back into Leblanc. "No fire here!"

"My eyes are still stinging from the smoke. Could someone please escort me to the bathhouse?"

"I'll go with you, Yusuke! Sneak me in there and wash this off me before it soaks into my fur."

Makoto looked around at their friend group with something like grief in her eyes. She groaned and entered Leblanc with a hand over her mouth. A few seconds and several exchanged words with Ryuji later, she exited and glared the rest of the Phantom Thieves down.

"Well? Come on, we've got a lot of work to do."

— — — 

** Saturday, 13 February: Morning **

Under the stern guidance of Makoto, Leblanc was aired out and cleaned up relatively quickly. That left, however, the matter of the ruined equipment and the contaminated ingredients for the nikujaga and the cake. 

"This should be a list of everything we need," Makoto said as she handed Goro a sticky note. She managed to fit three columns of ingredients on it, front to back. Makoto was also doing an admirable job of suppressing the twitch in her left eyebrow; Goro wouldn't have even noticed it if Yusuke hadn't chosen to slump over one of the booth tables with a painful sounding thump.

"I can't go on any longer," Yusuke moaned. "Though the smoke has been cleared, my eyes still burn. My body feels weak... What has that wretched, acrid air done to me...?"

"You couldn't have waited ten seconds before succumbing to your status ailment?" Futaba cried, standing precariously on her tiptoes on top of a chair. "Inari, you let me down! I'm too short to hang this!"

"I could give you a boost," Haru said. "I can lift you up while I'm standing on the chair!"

Makoto winced as Goro took the paper from her. "I would like for you to be thorough, but even so, please return quickly." The "I don't know how much I can take being the only sane one," was implied.

"I'll do my best," Goro said, watching Haru hoist an unsteady Futaba up by her knees. "Good luck."

Makoto's eyebrow twitched again as she tried to smile. "Oh, yes, Haru has kindly offered to pay for the ingredients. Here." She handed Goro an envelope, and her white-knuckled grip on it had caused it to wrinkle. It took them a moment to get the envelope to Goro, mostly because Makoto couldn't seem to untense enough to let go.

Once he had it in his hands, Goro took a peek inside. He gave Makoto a stunned look. "Carrying this much cash with me feels like I'm tempting fate and asking to get mugged."

"Dude," Ryuji said, hovering next to Haru and Futaba with a worried look on his face, "I'd be seriously impressed by anyone who'd be able to mug you. You'd shank 'em before they could even lay a hand on you."

"Is that how you see me," Goro said flatly. "And what exactly would I be shanking them with?"

Ryuji shrugged. "A knife, obviously."

"Do you really think I'm the type of person to carry a knife with me?"

"Okay, fine. A gun, then."

"You can't shank someone with a gun," Futaba said, tilting dangerously to the right as she tried to stretch and reach a nail. "He'd be shooting them instead. Ugh! I still can't reach! Mona! Get over here and I'll lift you up!"

"I'm watching Yusuke to make sure he doesn't die," Morgana said, pausing mid-crotch lick to speak.

Ann poked her head out of Leblanc's kitchen. "Did I hear that Akechi needs a knife? I just finished washing a few!"

"I feel my strength fading," Yusuke muttered from the booth as his stomach growled. "Has the cold touch of Death's hand come for me...?"

Goro exchanged pained looks with Makoto, whose eyebrow was now twitching nonstop. "I'm leaving now."

"I'm a little envious," Makoto said quietly, and Goro fled before she could make them exchange places. 


	3. Chapter 3

** Saturday, 13 February: Daytime **

Somewhat surprisingly, the station and the trains weren't nearly as packed as Goro had feared for a pleasant Saturday morning. He managed to get a seat, didn't have anyone encroach on his personal bubble, and even got out of the underground station without having to push past any random crowds of people. 

That was perhaps what led him to have his guard down when he entered the grocery store.

There were swarming masses of people. They were mostly young women, around high school to college age, but there was no shortage of other demographics as well. Shoppers were frantically throwing things into their carts, arguing with each other about the produce, and dashing around with panicked looks on their faces. 

Goro looked around the store. Then he looked at his list.

Apparently, the Phantom Thieves weren't the only ones who had the idea of making an elaborate dinner and dessert around Valentine's Day. Goro took a steadying breath, discreetly made sure that the money Haru had supplied was untouchable by anyone other than himself, grabbed a basket, and headed out into the battlefield.

The very first item on his list gave him trouble. The vegetables and fruits had all mostly been picked through. What was left were obviously inferior, but as Goro gazed upon the remaining shriveled shiitakes, he realized that he didn't have enough experience with fresh produce to pick out the best of the worst. He looked at the meager pile of mushrooms as other shoppers dropped by, made faces at what was left, and then either walked away or carefully picked out a few for themselves.

Right. He didn't have time to dawdle. 

Figuring that "not disgusting" was as good a metric as any to go by, Goro quickly picked out the mushrooms. The next several items on the list were handled the exact same way. The potatoes that were left were small, so he picked up a few extra. The onions were all radically different sizes, so he picked the largest one that was still whole and not mushy. The carrots were stringy, so he picked up a couple more than was needed and hoped for the best. The green beans and snow peas were practically gone, so he gathered what remained and kept going. The beef... Well, the meat section was a madhouse, so he went in, grabbed a package without looking, and then left.

By the time he finished getting things for just the nikujaga, Goro felt like he'd spent hours fighting for his life. He found a quiet corner next to the pet food and took a moment to catch his breath, then looked at the remaining items on the list. Some pots and pans—to presumably make up for the ones Ryuji and Ann destroyed—and lots of chocolate.

There had been one aisle in the store that, despite how busy it was overall, was actually frightening in how chaotic it was. There was a terrible aura emanating from it, powered by the anxiety and hope of dozens—maybe even hundreds—of young people desperate in love. 

Goro had really hoped he would be able to avoid the chocolate section, but fate wasn't on his side. 

He dawdled, much to his own shame, by picking up virtually every other item on the list before marching to his doom. There was a large crowd gathered to watch the hordes of squirming, yelling, angry bodies fighting over the last few packages of chocolate. People were screaming. Hair was being pulled. Limbs were being stepped on. Several people were crying. 

Goro stared at the mass of human bodies in abject despair. He then stared at the nearly empty shelves with even more despair. The only packages of chocolates left were at the very top of the shelf, so high up that most of the people there wouldn't be able to reach. 

An idea began to percolate in his brain. There was no way he could win against the horde of people in anything approaching a civilized manner. What he needed was a strategy...and an ally.

> `**Goro** : Futaba, I need a favor. Can you create a mock Junes announcement for discounted cooking chocolate at the front of the store? One that could be broadcast from my phone?`
> 
> `**Futaba** : omg  
>  **Futaba** : You're evil, but I'm on it. You won't even need to broadcast it on your phone. Gimme five minutes, and make sure you're on the Junes wifi!`
> 
> `**Goro** : Thank you.`

With five minutes to kill, Goro went into the next aisle and pretended to be utterly consumed by the choice of picking either granulated or confectioner's sugar. He was beginning to seriously consider looking up just what, exactly, was the difference between the two when the overhead speaker suddenly came on. A cheerful voice announced that a brand new shipment of chocolate had just come in and was being distributed by the checkout area.

The resulting stampede of human bodies shook the shelves so hard that Goro had to rush in and catch several bags of sugar that were knocked over from the vibrations. The horde of hopeful chocolate hunters ran through the store like a grotesque growth, squirming and undulating as they rushed through. The crowd watching them also dispersed, eager to follow the show, and that left Goro with conveniently few people around as he went into the nearly empty aisle and grabbed the last three packages of chocolate.

With the last items on the list obtained, he quickly rushed towards the checkout area, choosing the registers farthest away from the angry mob heckling the poor workers. There was no time for sympathy when chocolate was at stake, however, and he loaded the items as quickly as he could, watching each of them scan while keeping an eye on the mob.

Finally, _finally_ , he was done. But just as he was taking the money Haru provided out to pay for everything, he heard someone from the now silent mob say: 

"Hey... Doesn't that guy have chocolate in his bags?"

Goro froze. The cashier froze. The mob, sadly, did not freeze.

"He totally has the last of the chocolate in his bag!"

"That's not fair! We were fighting so hard over it!"

"I bet he snuck in and took it after we got lied to!"

Goro did not survive through Shido, the Metaverse, the Conspiracy, and the numerous other attempts on his life to get brought down by a pack of lovelorn fools out for chocolate and blood. He grabbed more money than was needed, threw the bills at the stunned cashier, then grabbed all the bags and ran.

"AFTER HIM!"

Given how much stuff he had to take with him, running from the angry mob was more of a challenge than expected. But he once ran away from the Reaper by himself, then ran away from it again while literally carrying some of the team and their getaway vehicle. Running away from a mob of ordinary people while carrying five bags of groceries was, in comparison, nothing at all.

Goro still nearly doubled over when he reached the station, though. Thankfully, no one from the angry mob was angry enough to chase him all the way to the station, but as Goro rode back, he still kept an eye out for anyone seeking chocolate fueled revenge against his person. He kept up the watch right up until he got to Leblanc's front door, and it was only then that he allowed some of the tension to seep out of his body.

Goro opened the door. Someone screamed, and Goro ducked as a deflating balloon sailed past the space where his head had been. It sputtered rudely as it jettisoned itself past the sidewalk before running out of air and falling flatly onto the ground.

Goro slowly stood and found Futaba trying to wrestle a paintbrush away from Yusuke, a bag of empty balloons scattered across the stairs.

"What have you done?" Futaba said, trying her hardest to pull the brush out of Yusuke's hands. "I asked you to decorate Leblanc, not to paint a mural on the walls!"

"This is decoration," Yusuke said, sounding terribly offended as he stretched his arm up, thus rendering the brush unreachable by Futaba. "I am painting our feelings of celebration and joy over our leader's birthday—"

"On the walls?!"

"It is acrylic. It will wash off."

"Sojiro's going to kill me! No, he's going to kill you! He's going to kill all of us!"

"Nonsense. Boss is a respectful man with a good head on his shoulders. He wouldn't resort to senseless violence—"

" _I'M_ gonna resort to violence!"

"Ah," Yusuke said, eyes growing dim. "That's a possibility I had not considered."

"No violence allowed," Makoto yelled from inside the kitchen. "No painting on the walls allowed, either. Yusuke, clean that up and start decorating normally, please."

"H-hey, Makoto," Ann said, her tone filling Goro with a heavy sense of foreboding, "a little crack at the bottom of the pot's okay, right...?"

Goro walked in with the groceries, set them on the counter, and then walked back out.

Or he tried to. As he reached for the door, it opened up and a giant flower arrangement hit him full on in the face.

"We're back— Oh, shit, who'd I just hit?"

Goro spat out several flower petals and backed away, wiping pollen off his face. "Me," he said bitterly, and Ryuji awkwardly set the arrangement down on a booth table.

"Sorry, man," he said, and at least he sounded genuinely apologetic. "Didn't expect you to be so close to the door. But hey, mind giving us a hand? Someone," he said loudly, "went overboard on the flowers."

"They were lovely flowers," Haru said as she strode through the door, carrying another giant floral abomination that might have been larger than she was. "And they were so insistent!"

"Pretty sure they just wanted to charge you more," Ryuji muttered. He sighed and looked at Goro. "There's more where that came from. Come on, let's get going.

At that point, there was no use arguing. Goro sneezed into the crook of his elbow, sniffed, and then trudged after Ryuji. Outside, seven more arrangements waited for them, and Morgana sat in the middle of all of them.

"Oh, Akechi," Morgana said, tail swishing back and forth as he gazed at him. "Great, you can help us get these inside."

Goro sniffed again before walking over to an arrangement and staring at it. "Is there even enough room for them in Leblanc?"

Ryuji picked up an arrangement and cradled it in his arms. He raised an eyebrow at Goro until he did the same. "Who knows? But we gotta do something with them."

"We can put a few in Ren's room," Haru said, emerging from the cafe and picking two arrangements up despite their bulky nature. "I'm sure he'll enjoy it. He still picks up shifts at Rafflesia from time to time."

Ryuji propped the door open and used his head to gesture to both Haru and Goro to go in. "I think that's just 'cause he can't say no to anyone. I mean, he even agreed to go in today."

Goro kept the arrangement at arm's length, but still sneezed as he crossed the threshold. "Wait," he said, hating how congested he sounded, "he's working at a flower shop? Right now?"

While Goro had been outside, Futaba had managed to take Yusuke's paintbrush away from him, and she was now holding it while observing Yusuke carefully wipe paint away from the walls. "Oh, yeah. Ann called the manager there and asked them to ask Ren to take a short shift today. That's why he's not here."

"Are you saying," Goro said slowly, horror washing over him as he set the flowers down, "that you made Ren work at _a flower shop the day before Valentine's_ — ACHOO!"

He only just managed to catch his sneeze, and then he sneezed two more times in succession.

"Are you all right?" Haru asked, and Goro nodded. 

"I'b fine," he said. Then he swore internally. "Excuse be."

He rushed into the bathroom and let out another sneeze. He blew his nose and washed his hands before exiting, and the others gave him concerned looks.

"Anyway," he started to say, then grimaced at how nasally he was. "Ren."

Ann stepped out of the kitchen, wearing an apron and brandishing a knife. "We had a big argument about it in the chat last night, but when it came down to it, we didn't have any better plans to keep Ren away from Leblanc for several hours straight."

"It's his birthday," Goro said slowly, overenuciating each word, "and you sent him to work at a flower sh-shop—ACHOO!" 

"Um, Akechi," Haru said as he sneezed again, "are you allergic to flowers?"

"I don't think I am," Goro wanted to say. What he actually said was: "I don't dink I ab."

Ryuji and Futaba both started to laugh, but then tried and failed to suppress their laughter. Goro glared at them, but that was cut short by him sneezing again. Without another word, he went back into the bathroom.

He stayed in it for several minutes, alternating between blowing his nose and sneezing. To his irritation, a rash was beginning to spread across his face. Goro wasn't allergic to flowers in general, but it seemed he was allergic to whatever species Haru had picked out for the arrangements.

There was a knock on the door, and then Haru's muffled voice from the other side.

"Akechi? I've got a mask and some tissues for you. Using toilet paper is harsh on your nose. You don't have to open the door all the way!"

He opened the bathroom door a crack and accepted the tissues and face mask she handed him. "Tank you."

"You're welcome," she said, giving him a sympathetic look. "Ryuji went to check, and it seems that the clinic around here is open. Since the doctor is a friend of Ren's, she might be able to give you something to help with your allergy."

"I'll try that," Goro said, pulling out a tissue and holding it over his nose and mouth. "Tank you again."

Haru was a lot more successful at suppressing her laughter towards Goro's nasally voice. "Oh, no. It's the very least I could do, given that I was the one who bought the flowers. Please, if you need to pay for anything, use any of the leftover money I provided. If you need more, let me know!"

"I will," Goro said miserably, then closed the door on her.

It took him another ten minutes of suffering before he left the bathroom with the mask on and practically ran out of Leblanc. Whatever relief holing up in the bathroom provided, it was demolished the instant he was back in the pollen infested space of the rest of the cafe. He ignored the rest of the Phantom Thieves and only slowed when he was outside. The fresh, pollen free air was delightful, but when Goro breathed through his mouth, he only made himself sneeze again. 

Takemi Medical Clinic was thankfully empty when he entered. Takemi herself barely looked up from the tablet she was reading from when he entered. Goro sniffed, pulled down the face mask, and walked up to the counter.

"If you're here to convince me to join the flash mob or anything else you've come up with," Takemi said before Goro could open his mouth, "then forget it. The girl didn't work, the cat didn't work, and you won't either."

Goro spoke, but it wasn't to ask what he originally wanted to. "What?"

Takemi's gaze slid from her tablet to him. "Huh. You're not here to drag me to the party you guys are arranging for my old guinea pig, are you?"

Goro took a second to answer, mostly because he had to process the implications of everything Takemi had said; impressive, given that she'd only said two real sentences.

"I need medicine," Goro said slowly. 

Takemi's expression was absolutely unreadable, which was terrifying for several reasons. "Legal medicine?"

"Yes...?"

Her expression softened yet somehow remained exactly the same. She set her tablet down and waved Goro to go through the door. "I never know with you guys. All right, head back and let me know what's going on with you, although I already have a guess from how you sound."


	4. Chapter 4

** Saturday, 13 February: Early Afternoon **

In the end, Takemi talked him into getting an antihistamine injection. It worked quickly, although it had the unfortunate side effect of knocking him out for a while. Still, it was a relief to be able to breathe and not having mucus spewing from every orifice on his face.

He was allowed to leave after Takemi made sure that he wouldn't get dizzy or sleepy again. Goro pulled out his phone as he left. Goro regretted doing that as soon as he unlocked it.

> `**Futaba** : Hey, Traitor Face! Are you alive?  
>  **Futaba** : Seriously, ignoring us AGAIN? Haru didn't buy those flowers because she knew you were allergic to them, you know.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Okay, are you actually dead? Or just being an asshole?`  
>  `**Futaba** : Nevermind, Takemi got annoyed that your phone kept ringing and explained. Sleep it off, but if you wake up before 3, can you do us a favor?`  
>  `**Futaba** : Ren's shift ends at 4, but Makoto insists that we won't be ready until 6 at the earliest. Soooooooo distract Ren for us for two hours?`  
>  `**Futaba** : You've still got Haru's money, right? Take Ren out to see a movie or something. Just be sure to be back by 6!`
> 
> `**Goro** : I am awake. Seeing as it's already past 3, I'll kindly go and distract Ren for you.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Have fun on your date! Bring him back at 6 or there will be hell to pay.  
>  **Futaba** : I'm serious about that.`

Goro did not dignify Futaba with a response. He muted that chat, too, and then headed towards the station. The trains were back to their regular packed selves during the afternoon, and Goro endured the grueling affair of dealing with other people in cramped quarters as he rode in to Shibuya.

The Underground Mall wasn't much better; the selection of stores there meant that it was full of people making last minute purchases for Valentine's Day, and Goro had to physically push people aside several times so he could pass through and get to Rafflesia.

...Which was an absolute madhouse. Goro had never paid attention to the flower shop before, but even so, he assumed that having a horde of people so large that he couldn't even see the flowers was not a normal situation. He tried to look above the crowd for a sign of Ren, but there were so many people—including a surprisingly large number of men taller than he was—in the way that he almost got a cramp in his calves from standing on his tiptoes for so long.

Pulling back with a sigh, Goro checked his phone. 3:52 PM. Ren was supposed to be done in less than ten minutes, yet if the crowds didn't disperse, it was highly unlikely he'd be able to get away. 

A reminder of another point from Goro's list: Sometimes, despite all of their kindness and desire to do good, the Phantom Thieves could be assholes.

He was ruminating on a plan to disperse the crowd when a petite woman climbed on top of the register table. "I'm so sorry," she yelled, her voice as large and booming as her stature was not, "but we have completely run out of roses!" A pause. "And most other flowers."

"What do you mean?" A man near the back shouted. "I need red roses! My wife and I exchange roses and chocolates every year, ever since we started dating!"

"Well," a young woman said from the middle of the crowd, "I need to impress my guy so he'll finally propose to me! It's been seven years!"

"I'm single and I just want to pretend for an evening that I'm not horribly alone!"

"Please, please," the woman said as the crowd started going again, "I'm sorry, but the only flowers we have left are...Orange Lilies and Yellow Carnations."

Goro had no idea what those meant, but from the scatter of scandalized gasps in the crowd, it must have been bad.

"Perfect," someone shouted from the crowd. "I'll take a bouquet of those!"

Another ripple of scandalized gasping, and the crowd began to walk away as the person who requested the bouquet started to cackle. Goro remained where he was, watching the crowd disperse until he could finally see the inside of the store itself. There was a lone figure buying a large bouquet of orange and yellow flowers, and the cashier on duty handed back the change with a frightful look on her face. 

Standing off to the side behind the cashier was Ren, who was slumped over a table and being propped up by his hands. Goro approached, and Ren did not look up once. 

He got to the counter as the maniacal bouquet buyer left. The cashier gave him a shaky smile.

"H-hello," she said, still looking shaken. "A-are you here to buy a rejection bouquet as well?"

"No," Goro said, looking past her shoulder to stare at Ren. "I'm actually here for him."

At the sound of his voice, Ren lifted his head up and stared at Goro with a surprised look on his face. "Goro?"

Goro stepped to the side so the poor cashier wouldn't have to deal with him standing in the way. "Ren, I need to speak with you about something. You should be done soon, correct?"

Ren's face scrunched up in confusion, but before he could answer, the petite woman from earlier emerged from a back room. "Amamiya," she said, handing Ren an envelope, "thank you so much for helping us out today. Coming out to work on your birthday was incredibly kind of you." She patted him on the shoulder before turning to Goro and giving him a wink. "Now go and spend the rest of your birthday with your friends."

Ah. That was right, Rafflesia's manager was in on everything.

Goro waited patiently for Ren to gather his things, leaning against a barren patch of wall and watching the crowds of people flow past him. There had been a rather nefarious plot simmering in the backburners of his brain for some time, but Goro had set it aside because it felt too mean. But when Ren emerged, still looking exhausted but slightly less disheveled, Goro decided that too mean wasn't nearly mean enough. 

The Phantom Thieves made Ren work at a flower shop on his birthday, which was also the day before Valentine's Day. Even if it was for the purpose of planning a surprise party for him, there really was no excuse.

"So," Ren said wearily when he drew close, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Our friends arranged for you to work this shift today," Goro said without preamble. "They called your manager and made her call you in because everyone knows you're incapable of saying no to people when they ask you for a favor."

Ren opened his mouth. Ren snapped his mouth shut. Ren opened his mouth again.

"What?!"

"They were planning a surprise party—" Goro said those two words with as much disdain as he possessed, which was a lot. "—as a birthday present, but I doubt that they'll be successful. I've been tasked with distracting you for at least two hours so they can buy more time, but considering that they set Leblanc on fire once already—"

" _What?!_ "

"—I doubt an extra two hours will do much to salvage the situation." Goro crossed his arms and gave Ren a pointed look. "Well? I'm interested in hearing your thoughts about all this."

Ren closed his eyes and then leaned on the wall next to Goro, back pressed up against a poster. "I want to go home and sleep."

"Ah," Goro said, casting his gaze out to the people ambling around again. "The smoke from the fire may have permeated your room, and the flowers Haru obtained may be taking up space there as well."

Ren held up a hand. "Okay, I need you to explain all this in more detail."

"I will, but it's a long story. Before I do, I have a proposition for you." Goro turned his head so that he was looking directly at Ren and found that Ren was doing the same. "How would you feel about indulging in some...revenge?"

Ren stared at him blankly for a second before a smile slowly spread across his face. "Revenge, huh? Tell me more."

Goro matched his smile. "I've had my share of troubles today as well thanks to this surprise party, although I'm sure it's not nearly as bad as what you had to go through. That's why I told you what was going on. But imagine this: instead of bringing you back to Leblanc at 6, why don't we simply do something else and let them stew in their actions for a bit?"

Ren let out a delighted hum. "All right. We do our own thing and leave them waiting in anticipation. I'm down for that. What are you thinking of doing?"

Goro shrugged. "Haru gave me a lot of money—I'll explain later, I promise—and Futaba suggested we watch a movie as a way to bide time until 6PM." 

"I'd rather eat instead," Ren said. "The shift wiped me out, and no one really got a lunch break."

"I'm fine either way. It's your birthday, and I have a startling amount of cash on hand. Where would you like to go?"

Ren's smile turned fond as he reached out and nudged Goro with his arm. "You're the gourmet; you tell me."

"Ah, well," Goro said, turning away from Ren so he could pretend to people watch and try to calm himself down, "since it's not my money we're spending, how would you feel about having an early dinner in Ginza?"

"Is it going to be sushi?"

"...It doesn't have to be sushi."

"Sounds good." Ren pushed himself off the wall and gave Goro a contented look. "All right, it's a date."

It took Goro a second to remember how to walk after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In hanakotoba, orange lilies mean hatred, and yellow carnations mean rejection and disdain. Why would a flower shop be carrying them on Valentine's Day? Rule of Funny.


	5. Chapter 5

** Saturday, 13 February: Late Afternoon **

The ride out to Ginza was standing room only, and the car they were in was so noisy that it was impossible to get any conversation in. That might have been a good thing, because even though Goro knew that Ren was being facetious when he called their revenge plot a date, a part of him still wanted to ask about it.

It was Futaba's fault, Goro decided. That made him feel a little bit better.

They arrived in Ginza with still some time left during the _hokoten_ , so Ren decided they should eat in a restaurant on Chuo-Dori. It was a bit of a challenge to pick a restaurant from memory, but once Goro caved and decided to look things up online, they decided on a cozy sukiyaki and shabu shabu restaurant that would have normally been out of both their price ranges. 

"Just how much money did Haru give you?" Ren asked as they meandered down the middle of the street.

Goro sighed and discreetly touched the inner breast pocket of his coat, where the money was being kept. "Enough for the both of us to eat like royalty and have plenty left over."

"So if I wanted five plates of wagyu beef..."

"You can have as much as you want." Goro smirked. "It's Haru's money we're spending."

Goro held the door open for Ren when they arrived, but Ren froze after stepping through. Goro had to push on his back to get him to move, and when Ren finally did and allowed Goro inside, Goro froze as well.

The pictures of the restaurant online depicted it with tasteful amber lighting, a sophisticated ambiance, and a modern layout that was clean without being empty. The restaurant as it was now, however, was overwhelmingly pink.

Pink lights. Pink decorations. A few red spotlights to bring out the paintings on the walls. There were glass heart sculptures serving as centerpieces.

The spirit of Valentine's Day, it seemed, was inescapable.

"This is...seasonal," Ren said slowly.

"Ginza's main street is catering too much to foreign travelers," Goro said, regurgitating a line he read from a magazine almost a year ago. "The mass commercialization of foreign holidays not only encourages clients from overseas, but also encourages business from native Japanese eager to experience something different and exotic."

Ren gave him a flat look. "Wow, that's an incredibly romantic way to look at things. I feel so wooed right now." 

Goro glared at him and hoped that the overabundance of red light would be enough to mask the slight flush on his cheeks.

The restaurant was practically empty at that time of day, and so the host gave them a nice, secluded table with booth-like seating on only one side of the table. Goro realized as he slid in after Ren that the table they were at was set up for couples, being private and cozy all at once.

It felt like a date. Goro realized with no small amount of horror that the host thought that he and Ren were here to have a romantic dinner together.

"This is nice," Ren said after they were given menus and left alone for a moment to decide what to get. "It's cozy. Romantic."

Goro said nothing. He looked at the words on the menu but realized that he couldn't focus on what they said.

"Do you think they'll give us free dessert if we play up being a couple and tell them it's my birthday?"

Goro smacked Ren with the menu out of pure reflex, and he frowned when Ren deflected the attack and laughed.

"You don't think they give out free dessert here?"

"You're impossible," Goro said. "We should clarify that we're here to celebrate your birthday and nothing else."

Though there was a smile on Ren's face, the overall expression he wore was inscrutable. "Is it that bad to be mistaken for being on a date with me?"

"Yes," Goro said, and the sudden flicker in Ren's expression had him backpedalling. "No, I—" What the fuck. He knew exactly why Ren had this effect on him, but _why did Ren have this effect on him_?

"It's not being with you in particular that I have a problem with," Goro began, picking his words carefully lest he say something he'd regret. "It's the idea of being mistaken for being with—" _'You, because then I would get my hopes up.'_ "—anyone in a romantic sense." 

Goro grimaced. "I suppose it's a leftover from my time in the public spotlight. There was always speculation about who I was dating or interested in; none of it was close to being accurate, of course. I couldn't let myself grow close to anyone enough to have friends, much less get close enough to someone to develop any sort of romantic attachment." That it had happened anyway wasn't something Goro was ever going to say out loud.

"That makes sense," Ren said, looking away from Goro at last to scan the menu. "In that case, we can clarify when the server returns."

"There's no need to make a big deal out of it," Goro murmured. He took a deep breath and plunged forward while trying not to dwell on what he was saying. "I know exactly what my feelings towards you are. I shouldn't care about the opinions of other people regarding them."

Goro kept his eyes locked on the menu as a moment of silence stretched on. He saw the words but didn't read them. When the silence became unbearable, Ren spoke again.

"I feel the same," he said, and Goro forced himself to keep his eyes on the menu instead of on Ren. "I know how I feel about you, too, and nothing's going to change that." There was the sound of the edge of the menu tapping against the table. "So! I'm getting at least three plates of wagyu."

Goro let out a breath he was only faintly aware that he was holding. Food was a safe topic change. "Only three? I remember you saying you were getting five outside."

"I want more than just beef," Ren said, turning the menu over and staring at the rest of the options. "Huh. They have a spicy pepper platter."

"Have fun burning the remainder of your taste buds off," Goro said as he finally managed to focus on the words to actually read them. "I don't understand why anyone would want to ruin their food that way."

"You're just being difficult because you're afraid."

The tension between them lightened up considerably after they ordered and their food arrived. There was only one communal pot for the both of them to cook their meal in, for Goro was correct in assuming that the restaurant saw them as a couple, but their tastes were thankfully complementary. (Ren didn't get the spicy pepper platter, much to Goro's relief.) They gave up on trying to keep track of who had ordered what and enjoyed the surprise element of fishing out whatever was there, and Goro ended up eating just as much of the wagyu beef as Ren did.

During all this, Goro began recounting the events of his day to Ren. Ren laughed at Goro when he spoke about Futaba's aggravating wake up call, but that laughter gave way to a grimace as soon as Goro told Ren about the smoke that greeted him at Leblanc. 

With a few hours between Goro and the events of the first half of the day, Goro found he rather enjoyed retelling his day to someone, especially when that someone was as receptive to his story as Ren was. In the past, much of his recounts about his daily life were embellished or made up entirely, and the interest people presented him with was equally as fake. Ren, however, was different. His eyes lit up whenever he heard something amusing, and he asked questions that were smart. Funny. Invested.

Of course, much of this had to do with the fact that Ren's living space occupied much of the story's details, and the reason for all the mischief that happened was because of Ren in the first place. Even so, Goro couldn't deny that actually being listened to, actually having the attention of someone who mattered focused entirely on him was...nice.

After Goro finished, Ren began speaking about his day and the myriad customers he had to deal with. It was Goro's turn to laugh now, and the two of them fell into an easy banter as they chatted and ate. When they finished, Ren mentioned that it was also his birthday, and the restaurant gave them a small, complimentary slice of chocolate cake along with the bill. They carefully cut it in half, then shared that off the same plate.

Ren ate only two bites before he pushed the plate towards Goro. "I'm done. It's too sweet."

Goro had nearly demolished his half of the slice already. "Is it? It's dark chocolate, so I find it to be actually an appropriate level of sweetness for once."

Ren threw his head back with a groan. "It's too rich. I'm full of beef and soup."

"Eating three plates of wagyu and then several other plates of vegetables will do that," Goro said dryly, nevermind that he ate just as much as Ren did. He was about to tear into Ren's half of the slice when his phone suddenly gave out a notification. Upon getting it out, he realized that he'd lost track of time.

> `**Futaba** : Fifteen minutes! You'd better be on your way back!  
>  `**Futaba** : Makoto says it's okay if you're not exactly on time, but we're gonna get mad if you're more than ten minutes late.``

  
``  


``

Somehow, between the good food and even better company, almost two hours had passed in the blink of an eye. Worse yet, Goro realized, he didn't even mind spending two hours eating and talking with someone. In the past, the only times that meals with other people had lasted longer than an hour were because they involved work—be it police work or interviews with the media. Neither of those circumstances were enjoyable, and each second that passed did so with grating pain.

But his dinner with Ren in a cozy, romantic atmosphere—eating from the same shabu shabu pot and sharing their food while talking about their day—was fun. He wanted to do it again.

"Something wrong?" Ren asked, and Goro was startled as he realized he'd been staring blankly at his phone for several seconds.

"It seems our time is almost up," he said, turning his phone around so Ren could read the messages. "Of course, that's only if we were planning to head over to Leblanc."

"Which we're absolutely not doing," Ren said with a particularly keen look in his eyes. "I've got an idea, but I want you to approve of it. It involves throwing you under the bus."

Goro shrugged and locked his phone. "It hardly matters; they'll be after my head once I don't show up with you anyway."

Ren gave him a roguish smile. "I won't let them take your head away from you. I like it best on your shoulders."

Goro thanked the obnoxious pink lighting for hiding his blush. He crossed his arms and gave Ren an unimpressed look. "Your idea?"

Ren took out his phone and pointed it at the unfinished cake. "It's simple enough: they made dinner and a cake for me, right? So what if I took a picture of the remains of our meal and gushed about the lovely birthday dinner you took me to in the group chat?"

Goro shook his head in disappointment, but he didn't bother hiding the smile on his face. "You really want me drawn and quartered, don't you?"

"I'll protect you from anything and anyone who tries to hurt you," Ren said, tone so light that it had to be intentional. It made Goro's breath catch in his throat. "I won't do it if you don't want me to. It's your decision."

In the pink-red light of the restaurant, Ren's eyes were hard to read. Even so, there was an earnestness there that sparkled through, and it took Goro more effort than usual to tear his gaze away from Ren's eyes to look at his phone again. "I'll agree under one condition," he said, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. "I'm going to turn off my phone to avoid them yelling at me or Futaba hacking my phone again. I'm counting on you to show me the chaos in the group chat."

Ren smiled and took a picture of the cake and the remaining dishes on the table. "Deal."

> ``
> 
> `**Ren** : Guys`  
>  `**Ren** : GUYS`
> 
> `**Futaba** : ??????????`  
>  `**Futaba** : DID SOMETHING HAPPEN`
> 
> `**Ren** : I forgot to take a picture at the start of dinner, but look at the birthday meal Goro treated me to!`  
>  `**Ren** : [picture]`
> 
> `**Ann** : oooooooh my goooood`
> 
> `**Ren** : Way out of my price range normally. We got three plates of wagyu beef.`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : what`
> 
> `**Futaba** : HE DID WHAT`
> 
> `**Ren** : Goro's such a nice guy.`
> 
> `**Haru** : Oh. He took you out to eat? That's nice. :)`
> 
> `**Makoto** : I...see...`  
>  `**Makoto** : Did he, by the way, mention anything about what you're going to do now?`
> 
> `**Ren** : I was thinking about seeing a movie with him.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : Maybe you should come home instead! Right now! I'm at Leblanc!  
>  **Futaba** : Morgana misses you!`
> 
> `**Ann** : YEAH! Morgana's super clingy right now.`
> 
> `**Ren** : Oh, Ann, you're at Leblanc too?`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : This is all rather shocking. I feel betrayed.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : 8atygr;osd; EVERYONE PLEASE`
> 
> `**Ann** : I'm helping!`  
>  `**Ann** : Futaba!`  
>  `**Ann** : With some clothes stuff!!`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : oh man`
> 
> `**Makoto** : Ahaha, Yusuke, I'm sure that Ren would have been happy to share if you were there.`  
>  `**Makoto** : That's not a betrayal at all, is it?`
> 
> `**Ren** : I would if I had the cash, Yusuke. Sadly, I don't.`  
>  `**Ren** : Which makes Goro treating me like this even more special.`
> 
> `**Haru** : Hm. Speaking of Goro, I don't see him participating in the chat!`
> 
> `**Ren** : He's eating my share of cake since it was too much for me.`
> 
> `**Makoto** : Oh. You two have cake, too?`
> 
> `**Ren** : Yeah. Something super rich and fancy, but it was a little too rich after all the food.`  
>  `**Ren** : Oh, he's got some chocolate on his mouth. Hang on`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : is this really happening?`  
>  `**Ryuji** : am i crying or laughing right now?`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : I believe you are doing both, Ryuji. Most impressive.`
> 
> `**Ren** : [picture]`  
>  `**Ren** : He got mad.`
> 
> `**Haru** : Haha.`
> 
> `**Ann** : Oh my god. What's happening??`
> 
> `**Haru** : You two seem like you're having fun! How nice.`
> 
> `**Makoto** : Ren...maybe you should go home. It's getting late.`
> 
> `**Ren** : It's only 6.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : TELL GORO TO TURN ON HIS PHONE PLEASE`  
>  `**Futaba** : I have a mighty need to talk to him!`
> 
> `**Ren** : [picture]`  
>  `**Ren** : I told him. He looks so smug. Must have really liked that cake.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : TELL HIM HE'S A DISGUSTING TRAITOR AND I'M ON TO HIM`
> 
> `**Ren** : Come on, don't be mean to the guy that treated me to dinner.`
> 
> `**Makoto** : This is all a little much... Ren, are you going to spend the rest of your birthday with just Akechi?`
> 
> `**Ren** : Yeah.`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : wow, man`
> 
> `**Ann** : OH MY GOD`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : Yes, this emotion I am experiencing is absolutely betrayal.`
> 
> `**Haru** : How`  
>  `**Haru** : Nice`
> 
> `**Futaba** : TELL HIM I'M GONNA GONNA POST PORN ON HIS SOCIAL MEDIA AGAIN`
> 
> `**Makoto** : Ren, we want to spend time with you on your birthday, too.`
> 
> ``**Ren** : Yeah, I know, but...`  
>  **Ren** : Goro's just so special to me, you know?`
> 
> `**Ann** : ??????`
> 
> `**Ren** : He's just really great, guys.`  
>  `**Ren** : The best, even.`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : dude, are you going where i think you're going? for real?`
> 
> `**Ren** : Look, I've been keeping it inside for a while, but I can't keep it in anymore.`  
>  `**Ren** : This may come as a surprise to some of you, and some of you may have already figured it out, but...`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : What is happening?`
> 
> `**Ann** : oh my god`
> 
> `**Ren** : I have feelings.`
> 
> `**Haru** : Really?`
> 
> `**Makoto** : Oh, goodness`
> 
> `**Ren** : I can't hide it anymore.`
> 
> `**Futaba** : aqt8yua;sweid FUCK`  
>  `**Futaba** : HE`
> 
> `**Ren** : I know you guys set me up to work that shift today.`
> 
> ``
> 
> ``
> 
> `**Futaba** : KNOWS!!!`
> 
> `**Ryuji** : oh shit`
> 
> `**Ann** : AAAAAAAAAAAA`
> 
> `**Makoto** : ...I should've seen this coming.`
> 
> `**Haru** : Ren.`
> 
> `**Yusuke** : Ah, yes. The sting of betrayal, with a dreadful dose of bitter disappointment.`
> 
> `**Ren** : I'll be out with Goro. Go ahead and eat without me. I won't be back until much later.`

  
``  


``

"There is," Goro said with false levity as Ren rushed to turn off his phone, "a difference between throwing me under the bus and whatever that abomination was."

Ren double checked that his phone was off before shoving it back into his pocket. "I had to mess with them a little." He gave Goro a sultry look from beneath his fringe. "Couldn't help messing with you a little as well."

This was edging dangerously close to actual flirting, but they just finished having a romantic dinner and pulling off a spectacular—if unconventional—act of vengeance. If there was ever a time to indulge in some bad decision making, it was now.

"It almost feels like," Goro said, crossing his legs as he leaned just a little bit closer to Ren, "that you enjoyed messing with me more than you did with them."

"Your reactions are better looking," Ren purred. "Especially when you had that chocolate smudge on the corner of your mouth. I could have helped you get it off, you know."

Oh, this was getting far too dangerous. Goro pulled back from Ren and took a drink of water. When he set down the glass, he got up and pulled on his coat.

"We still have quite a bit of money left over even after paying the bill," he said as Ren stared dumbly at him. "You said you wanted to watch a movie?"

Ren's expression was unreadable. "I said that to rile them up. There is something that I'd like to do, though."

Goro looked at him as he wrapped his scarf around his neck, encouraging him to go on. Ren sighed and stood as well, shoving his arms into his coat as soon as he stood.

"Let's go for a walk around Ginza. I'm not often here, so I'd like to look around and pretend I've got enough money to buy things."

"Odd way to spend your birthday," Goro said, "but who am I to refuse?" He gestured towards the exit with his head as he pulled his gloves on. "After you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hokoten_ , short for _Hokousha Tengoku_ , refers to a practice where a section of a major street will be shut down for a few hours, allowing pedestrians to walk in the roads. In Ginza, the main road of Chuo-Dori is shut down to vehicular traffic for several hours on the weekends and holidays.


	6. Chapter 6

** Saturday, 13 February: Evening **

They walked out of the restaurant with a companionable but respectable amount of distance between them. The sun already sank beneath the horizon, but some traces of light remained. The edge of twilight loaned enough dying light for the displays and advertisements lighting up the streets to be lackluster rather than spectacular. They stuck to the sidewalks, walking in silence, and Goro wasn't sure what, exactly, they were doing. Ren certainly wasn't looking at anything, what with the way that he was staring resolutely at the ground ahead of them, hands in his pockets and back hunched over slightly.

They made it one block before Ren stopped. Goro stopped as well, a few steps ahead, and he turned back to look at Ren.

Ren looked back at him, a determined expression on his face. The lower half of his mouth was covered by his scarf, but even then, the grim set of the line of his lips was obvious to see.

"Just so you know," Ren said, tone clipped but not upset, "I don't really consider that dinner my birthday present from you."

Goro raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"It wasn't your money. It was Haru's, so if anything, that was her gift to me."

Goro narrowed his eyes at Ren. "That's insulting of you to say. Was my company meaningless then?"

Ren shook his head. "No. That was the best part of the gift, actually. But it still wasn't your gift; you were just part of the package Haru unknowingly gifted me."

He couldn't read anything off Ren's voice and expression. That itself said a lot, but the information it imparted was frustratingly vague. There was no use in mincing words if Goro wanted to understand. "What do you want, Ren?"

Ren looked away for a moment before he looked back, back straight and posture strong. He stared Goro down with steely resolution. "Take me on a date."

Goro froze. He didn't breathe, didn't blink, didn't think. If he could have, he would have stopped his heart from beating as well. He felt as if he was in a train tunnel as a train was going by. White noise rumbled through his head; the cacophony inside his mind was so loud that it felt like his ears were sealed off. Shock rolled through his system as a contradiction to his desire to be an existence frozen in time. Muscles yearned to move and shake. His lungs desired violent, shallow gulps of air. His traitorous heart beat faster.

"What," he managed to croak out, and he watched as Ren crumpled in on himself.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," Ren said, eyes downcast and head turned away. "Think of it as a joke if you want to. I just..." Goro watched Ren's chest expand and contract a few times. "All I want for my birthday this year is to go on a date with you. Just once."

Goro wasn't sure how he managed to get the word out of his throat. "Romantically?"

"No, Goro. I'm thinking of opening my own cafe and wanted your opinion on the economic feasibility of doing so while I'm still in college." Ren winced so badly after speaking that it became a full body motion, and he took a step back. Goro felt cold panic wash over him. "Sorry. I didn't— You don't deserve— Fuck."

Fuck was right. Goro had no idea what the fuck was going on. Or, rather, he knew exactly what the fuck was going on, but he couldn't bring himself to believe it was real. 

It was all a fever dream. Goro was still asleep in Takemi's clinic. He had an ironic allergic reaction to the antihistamine shot and was now in a coma. That had to be it.

"I," Goro began, and then a rush of vertigo hit him so hard that he nearly toppled over. Right. Breathing.

Ren made an aborted attempt to grab him, but when Goro started breathing again and caught himself before he fell, Ren retreated. He shoved his hands into his coat pockets and looked away. "You know, just forget I said anything. I've made it awkward. You can go home if you want; you don't need to indulge me. I can waste a few hours by myself before heading back."

Goro was dimly aware of the fact that Ren was trying to run away. For some reason, that infuriated him.

"Fuck you," he spat, and Ren did another full body wince. Fuck. "You piece of shit," he tried again. Fuck. "You absolute imbecile," he said as a last resort. _Fuck_.

"Okay," Ren said, and at least he sounded more annoyed than sad, "I get the point."

"No, you don't, you idiot," Goro said, and he decided to stop talking because words were clearly failing him. He opted to walk up to Ren instead, hating how Ren went on the defensive as Goro drew close.

"We're in public," Ren said as a warning. "Fighting here would be stupid." Goro scowled at him and grabbed his hand.

And then he held it. Probably a little too tightly, because Ren grimaced. He loosened his grip and...held Ren's hand.

Goro didn't really think about what to do after that.

Goro stared at Ren's face as Ren stared at their hands. 

"Uh," Ren said, "I'm getting mixed messages."

Goro didn't trust himself to speak, so he adjusted his grip and entwined their fingers together. He watched as Ren's eyes widened and his face took on the slightest tint of pink. 

The evening air was chilly, but Goro's face felt so hot that it was probably heating up the entire street. "I'm taking you out. Where do you want to go?"

Ren looked at him with a baffled expression. "Surprise me?"

Goro squeezed Ren's hand. "It's your birthday, you feckless asshole. You decide."

Ren's expression morphed from baffled to vexed. "Do you need a moment? 'Defensive' doesn't even begin to cover how you're acting."

He did, but if Goro took a moment to collect himself, the fury would fade and leave only embarrassment and mortification behind. 

"Ngh," Goro said. Ren gave him a Look, then sighed and tugged on their hands.

"If this makes you uncomfortable," Ren said, squeezing Goro's hand, "then we can stop. You don't have to push yourself for me."

Getting the words out felt like dislodging rocks from his throat. "I'm not doing this for you. It's for purely selfish reasons. I—" One of the words caught in his throat, and Goro choked on it for a second before expelling it and the traces of his anger. "I want this."

Ren's eyes became so soft that they were unbearable to look at. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Goro said, feeling the heat from his face spread down towards his neck and chest. "Not as a one time deal, and not because it's what you want. I want this for me," he said, and there was something gloriously freeing about getting the words out, even if it was equally terrifying. "This is what I choose for myself."

Trying to understand how Ren could look at him with such affection was impossible. "All right. You still owe me a birthday present."

"Screw you," Goro said out of reflex, then he gripped Ren's hand and started to walk, pulling Ren behind him. "I know where we're going."

Ren let out a slightly hysterical laugh. "If you're taking me to Wako Hall, I'm still banned from there."

"Hardly," Goro muttered. "I'm taking you home with me."

He only fully realized the implications of what he'd said when Ren stopped for a moment, causing them both to stumble when Goro kept going while still holding Ren's hand. Once again, Goro stopped and turned around to look at Ren.

"No," Goro said as Ren opened his mouth. "Not like that. I only want someplace less public to spend time with you."

"I figured, but..." Ren toyed with his fringe with his free hand. "The phrasing and timing."

"I know," Goro said, closing his eyes and running his free hand over his face. "I haven't...done any of this before. I'm out of my element," he admitted.

Ren was practically twirling his hair around his fingers. "That makes two of us," he said quietly. "Yeah, let's go back to your place so we can talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wako Hall refers to the museum/gallery/exhibition space located in [the Wako Department Store](http://www.wako.co.jp/). It is a huge, historical building with a nifty clock. If my sources are correct, Wako Hall mostly does historical and cultural exhibits, so it's unlikely they would host paintings by students. But, again, Rule of Funny. The idea of Ren sneaking Morgana into Wako Hall and then having him win an art exhibition was too amusing to pass up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hands.
> 
> _Hands._

** Saturday, 13 February: Night **

They ended up holding hands all the way back to Goro's apartment, which was unplanned on Goro's part. He expected either Ren or himself would let go at some point, but apparently neither of them wanted to be the one who broke away first. The entire way back to his apartment, Goro was wracked with conflicting feelings of terror and joy, and by the time he was unlocking the door and letting Ren inside, Goro was ready to have a minor meltdown from the tension.

He busied himself by trying to give Ren a spoken tour of his place as they removed their shoes, but Ren ruined his plans by grabbing him by the shoulders as Goro spoke about the kitchen.

"Can I hug you?" Ren asked, and Goro's brain short circuited and sparked.

"Ah... Yes?"

Ren looked into his eyes as if double checking for confirmation. Then, with slow, broadcasted movements, he stepped in and wrapped both his arms around Goro's shoulders and plastered himself to Goro's front.

Goro had gotten used to having an arm slung around his shoulders on occasion, and he'd even grown to tolerate a quick squeeze hug from Ann. But what Ren was doing—full body contact, hands secure and warm at his back, chin resting on his shoulder, and face pressed up against his scarf—was a far cry from those gestures.

Slowly, unwittingly, Goro felt the tension drain away from his body. He didn't know what to do with his hands, but as his body began to lean more against Ren's solid form, his arms naturally went around Ren's body. 

Goro clung to Ren as they hugged, face burying itself against Ren's scarf. Goro breathed in and felt his body tremble as tension drained away. Underneath the smell of coffee and traces of city pollution, Goro could catch whiffs of a scent that was just Ren, and he was hit with a blast of comfort and relief.

It was just a hug. 

When was the last time he'd been hugged like this?

Ren rubbed Goro's back. "You really needed this, huh?"

He needed it a long time ago, but Goro couldn't bring himself to say it even in the comfort of Ren's arms. He nodded instead, and he felt Ren's body move as Ren sighed before pulling Goro in even tighter. 

"Any time you want to stop, or any time you want to do something else," Ren said, voice low and soothing, "just let me know."

"You shouldn't be comforting me on your birthday," Goro managed to get out.

Ren laughed, and the fact that Goro could feel the movement and vibrations of Ren's body, even through all the layers they were wearing, was wonderful. "Getting to hold the guy I've been pining after like this is a great birthday gift, trust me."

Goro clutched Ren a little tighter. "Pining?!"

"Ah," Ren said, and then much to Goro's disappointment, let go. "Maybe we should finish taking our coats off and talk about this."

Ren had a point, but Goro didn't want to let go. They couldn't stay like this forever, though, hugging each other in front of Goro's door, coats and gloves and scarves still on. Reluctantly, Goro let go and stepped back. He looked at Ren as they put some distance between themselves, and Goro felt oddly triumphant when he saw Ren's flushed face and bright eyes.

He took off his scarf and hung it on a hook, then started to pull off his gloves. Ren, however, quickly grabbed his hands.

"May I?" Ren asked as Goro gave him a questioning look. "I want to take your gloves off."

The request was so strange that Goro nodded half out of impulse. Ren kept his eyes on Goro's as he slowly took one of Goro's hands, cradling it in both of his for a moment before he slipped in a single finger beneath Goro's glove.

Oh.

Ren's hands were cold, and the feeling of his cool skin sliding between the leather of the glove and Goro's own flesh made Goro grow hot—an odd but undeniably pleasant contradiction of the senses. Slowly, the finger slipped in deeper, past Goro's wrist, and then Ren began to slide in another finger, then another, until three cool fingers were resting against the flesh of his palm. The pads of Ren's fingers were rough from working with his hands, but the texture of them against Goro's skin was divine. Goro swore he could feel each ridge and rough patch of skin as Ren's fingertips slid across Goro's sensitive palm. 

Without breaking eye contact, Ren took his thumb and pinky and used them to slowly roll down the back of Goro's glove. Goro could only feel traces of those two fingers as the glove rolled down the back of Goro's hand, the bunching of the leather blocking him from getting the full sensations of the gentle scrap of Ren's fingertips as they danced down his skin.

When they rolled back the glove to his palms, Ren took his other hand and slid those fingertips in as well. Slowly, gently, ten cool fingers coaxed the glove off Goro's hands. Each of Goro's fingers was given individual attention by every one of Ren's dexterous digits, and the feeling of cold on hot, rough against smooth, skin on skin drove Goro mad.

When the glove finally came off and fell to the ground inside out, Goro couldn't even find it in himself to care. Goro's breath came in quick, shallow gasps; his chest heaved as Ren took his bare hand and pressed a chaste kiss to the back of his fingers. They maintained eye contact the entire time.

Goro let out an embarrassing whimper when Ren's lips made contact with his hand, and he flushed and covered his mouth with his other, still gloved hand as Ren's eyes crinkled in joy. Ren pressed another kiss on Goro's knuckles, then adjusted his hold on Goro's hand so he could press a kiss to Goro's palm.

"Ren," Goro whispered from behind his unheld, unkissed, still gloved hand.

Ren smirked at him. With one last kiss to Goro's fingertips, he carefully set that hand down and reached slowly towards the hand covering Goro's mouth. Ever so gently, he pried it away from Goro's face, cradling it in both his hands as Ren brought it closer to himself. 

The process repeated. One finger slipped beneath the glove: a single cool touch against hot skin. Then more fingertips, sliding down his hands with such care and reverence. A slow, gentle, maddening undressing.

When the second glove fell, Ren bathed the freed hand in kisses as well. The back of his hand. The back of his knuckles. His palm. The tip of his finger. Instead of letting go afterwards, however, Ren grabbed both of Goro's hands and brought them together. He held them and dropped his gaze from Goro's at last. With one last kiss pressed between the backs of both hands, Ren stepped back and let go.

"There," Ren said casually, as if he hadn't just spent the last few minutes worshipping Goro's hands. "Thank you."

He couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of his chest. "You're thanking me?" Goro said breathlessly, voice coming out strained. "After that?"

Ren smirked and slowly pulled the scarf off his neck. "Trust me," he purred as the fabric slowly trailed off his body, exposing the skin of his neck and letting Goro get a glimpse of his clavicle, "you deserved to be thanked for letting me do that."

Goro repressed a sound that he knew was going to be humiliating and turned away, unbuttoning his coat with shaky fingers. Fingers that Ren had slowly slid his own against, peeling the leather off bit by tantalizing bit.

God.

After they hung their coats and scarves, and after Goro picked up his gloves and put them in the pockets of his coat, there was a moment of awkward tension between them as they fidgeted near the door.

"Let's sit down and talk," Goro said when Ren started kicking the floor. "Ah... I want you to explain what you meant when you said you were 'pining' after me." 

It seemed odd that they were going to sit and chat after...whatever that was with Goro's gloves and hands, but Ren went still and nodded. Goro's studio apartment wasn't very large, but it suited his needs just fine. The couch wasn't the most comfortable thing, but it wasn't uncomfortable, either. More importantly, it was large enough to seat three comfortably. That meant Goro could put some space between himself and Ren so that he could...what? Keep his hands to himself? Prevent himself from doing something impulsive and stupid like pull Ren on top of him and start kissing him?

Not even two hours, and Goro was already a wreck.

"I've had feelings for you for a while," Ren started, unaware of Goro's crisis next to him. That line effectively pulled Goro out of his own thoughts, and he gaped at Ren. Ren had his hands held in his lap, and his eyes were unfocused as he looked directly to the front. "Back when...well, when everything was going on, I knew that I felt something towards you. It was easy to classify it as a passing infatuation, but when you showed up again? When you became a part of our group for good?" Ren shrugged and glanced at Goro out of the corner of his eyes with a wry smile. "The more time I spent with you, the more I realized that I couldn't call it an infatuation anymore."

Goro tried to control the trembling in his arms. He couldn't tell if he succeeded or not. "You did a good job keeping it hidden."

Ren let out a heavy sigh. "It's because I got used to it. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I thought you were hot from the moment I saw you at the TV station. That didn't develop into anything until later on, when I kept running into you. But if my attraction towards you didn't start from such an early stage, I'm sure you would've caught on."

For a horrifying second, Goro saw a vision of what it could have been like if he had caught on early enough. He shivered and clasped his hands together, serving as a mirror image to Ren's own posture. "It's for the best, I think." He swallowed. The words he wanted to get out were stuck in his throat again, but he had to say them. He was in a place where he actually could say them. "I didn't realize my own feelings for you until after I shot you," he said in a rush.

Ren turned bodily around, sitting sideways on the couch as he said Goro's name in a horrified tone of voice. Goro shook his head, not looking at Ren.

"If I had any idea that you were attracted to me back then, I would have used it against you. My feelings— My feelings wouldn't have stopped me. Nothing would have. It's for the best they never came to light."

Goro only realized how badly his hands were shaking when Ren gently placed his own hands over them. "Even so, realizing that after thinking you'd killed me..."

Goro responded by unclasping his hands and gripping Ren's. The hold was too tight; he knew it, but Ren didn't flinch. "I wasn't very sane back then."

Ren shuffled on the couch, positioning himself so that he was closer to Goro. Goro, in turn, moved so that he could lean on Ren. It led to the two of them rearranging themselves on the couch, neither of them wanting to let go of each other's hands, until they ended up laying down. Goro laid on top of Ren, face buried in the crook of his neck. Their legs were bent and entwined together in strange angles in an attempt to get them to fit on the couch. Goro's torso was awkwardly squished between Ren and the couch back.

Even so, it was comfortable. 

They remained in that position for a long while. Goro had lost all track of time, cuddled up to Ren as he was. Only when his legs started to cramp and Ren started to shift his head did they begrudgingly move again.

"I think I have a crick in my neck," Ren muttered, stretching his neck gently as they sat up. "The arms on your couch are too tall."

"I don't usually lay down here," Goro said, standing before bending over to touch his toes in order to ease the cramp in his legs. "The couch doesn't see much use, actually."

"Hmm," Ren said, and Goro looked up and found Ren staring at him. "You're pretty utilitarian about your living space."

"This is only a place to rest, study, and occasionally eat," Goro said, standing straight and watching Ren's eyes follow his body up. "I'm afraid I don't think of it much as a home. In all honesty...I think of Leblanc as more of a home than here. It's where you are, after all."

Ren stared at him for a second. "Okay," he said, voice cracking, "I was trying to hold back, but I can't not kiss you now."

"Oh, thank God," Goro did notsay, no matter how much he wanted to. Instead, he narrowed his eyes and gave Ren a flirtatious look. 

"Oh?" Goro teased as Ren's eyes widened. "What's holding you back?"

Ren stood up so quickly that Goro feared he was going to get vertigo. "Nothing, now," Ren said, and then he wrapped his arms around Goro's waist and drew him in.

Goro wrapped his own arms around Ren's shoulders in response, and he stared into Ren's eyes as they drew closer.

"What's stopping you," Goro said once they were so close that their lips were brushing. Ren had paused instead of continuing, and the lack of distance between them without anything happening was making Goro impatient. This close, he could feel the heat radiating off Ren's body, could feel the air shift as Ren breathed, could feel the beat of Ren's heart as their chests pressed against each other.

"Just savoring the moment," Ren replied.

Goro let out an inelegant snort and ran his hands through Ren's hair. Ren practically purred in response.

"I'd rather savor this," Goro whispered against Ren's lips, and then he leaned in and kissed him.

Goro had never kissed anyone before. And—from the way that Ren leaned into the kiss, to the way that Ren tightened his hold on Goro's body as Goro gripped Ren's hair—Goro found that he'd be all right with not kissing anyone else other than Ren for the rest of his life.

They parted for a second, both of them breathing heavily as they looked into each other's eyes, and then leaned back in. They met each other in the middle, and though the kiss stayed chaste, they varied the angle of their heads. Savored the way their lips felt against each other's. Reveled in the way their hands moved and caressed each other as they kissed.

When they parted again, Goro had one hand curled around Ren's face, thumb stroking Ren's cheek. His other hand remained tangled in Ren's hair. Ren, meanwhile, had moved one of his hands to Goro's neck, holding it gently as the other rested scandalously low on Goro's back.

They said nothing, but spent a little more time looking into each other's eyes before they dove back for another kiss.

It didn't remain chaste this time. In the blur and haze of emotion and touch, Goro wasn't sure of who opened their mouth first. But one of them did, and the other responded. There was no battling or dancing or fighting of tongues, but the mere fact that they were kissing open mouthed was more than enough. They enveloped each other, holding on like they were afraid to let go, yet grasping one another with such gentleness that Goro's heart ached. They kissed, again and again, lost in each other. One or both of them were making soft sounds every time they met. 

They could have kept going all night. Goro wanted to keep going all night. But then, as with all good things, it came to an end.

Goro's Smart TV, sitting on a stand by the wall and facing the couch, suddenly flickered on. Neither of them noticed it at first, but they did notice when a static-laced, near demonic sounding voice suddenly boomed from the speakers.

"TURN ON YOUR PHONES, YOU LOSERS," said Goro's television. "AKECHI, I'M GOING TO POST FEATHERMAN PORN ON YOUR INSTAPIC AND NOT APOLOGIZE."

Goro and Ren practically threw each other away in their haste to jump apart. Goro stared at his TV with wide eyes. The news was playing, but the sound that was broadcasting was a distorted version of Futaba Sakura's voice.

Ah, that was right. There was a point on the list that Goro couldn't believe he'd forgotten about: Never, ever underestimate Futaba.

"Is," Ren said hysterically, "Futaba possessing your TV?"

"JUST BECAUSE YOUR PHONES ARE OFF, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T TRACK THEM. I KNOW YOU'RE BOTH HERE. YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IGNORING ME. THIS MESSAGE WILL REPEAT ONCE EVERY TWENTY MINUTES UNTIL YOU TURN YOUR PHONES—"

Goro walked up to the television and pulled the plug. Silence reigned.

And then silence was overthrown. "You're not worried about Futaba posting porn on your account?"

"It wouldn't be the first time I'd get suspended," Goro said flatly. "There's nothing on there that I haven't backed up." He sighed. "My roomba's connected to the internet, too. I'm going to turn off my router."

"The woes of keeping up with technology," Ren said. He flopped back on the couch as Goro pulled the plug on his router and modem. "Did Futaba just cockblock us?"

Goro choked on air. 

"I hope," he said, feeling himself turn red as he faced the wall, still holding the modem's power cord in his hand, "that you weren't expecting that tonight."

"I meant it in a metaphorical sense," Ren said quickly. "I wasn't expecting that at all."

Goro let the cord drop. "Good."

"Right."

An awkward silence fell between them until it was broken by the sound of a tinny voice emerging from Goro's alarm clock. His alarm clock that had, for some inexplicable reason, mobile data options.

He swore as he ran into his bedroom, where the exact same message that played from his television was now blaring from his alarm clock. He unplugged it, then removed the back up batteries from it when it switched to those.

Goro heard Ren break out into laughter, and he walked back out to the main part of the apartment, batteries still held in one hand.

"I'm sorry," Ren said, clutching his stomach as Goro scowled at him, "but this is really funny. Didn't I give you that for your birthday last year?"

"Yes, which is why I removed the batteries instead of throwing it onto the ground."

Ren beamed at him. "You're wonderful."

Goro had absolutely no idea what he'd said or done to prompt Ren to say that, but he wasn't going to turn down the praise. "I can't believe she's taken over my electronics."

"She's good like that." Ren stood and walked over to Goro, taking the batteries out of his hands and setting them down on the coffee table. "But there's nothing we can do to stop her, so let's go back to making out."

Goro shot Ren a glare out of obligation more than anything else. "Are you telling me to give up and surrender?"

Ren kissed him on the cheek and spoke next to Goro's ear. The warm puffs of breath and the sound of Ren's low, sonorous voice so close sent shivers down Goro's spine. "No. I'm just saying that kissing would be a more productive use of our time."

"You're going to have to convince me of that," Goro said in reply even as he laid a tentative hand on Ren's shoulder. "You'd better bring your best."

"Oh," Ren growled, pulling Goro in, "I will."

They made out for while, exchanging kisses not just on the lips, but on the cheeks, the forehead, and then on the neck as well. It was a glorious step up from before, and Goro's mind soon became hazy from pleasure and no small amount of lust when Ren started leaving a trail of kisses down Goro's neck.

So when Ren stopped and pressed their foreheads together, Goro couldn't do anything other than stare blankly at him for a moment, mind too fuzzy to understand what was going on.

"This is probably a bad time to ask," Ren said, eyes blown wide, "but I figured I should before we get too carried away."

"Yes?" Goro asked, and then he pressed a kiss against Ren's lips because he could.

"When should I head back?" Ren asked when they parted, and Goro frowned.

"When do you want to go back?"

Ren pressed a kiss to Goro's forehead. "That's the thing." He kissed Goro's cheek. "I don't want to go back." A kiss to Goro's lips. "I want to stay the night."

Goro blinked. "Oh," he said. "Ah—"

"I'm not expecting anything," Ren said, cupping Goro's face with his hands. "I just don't want to leave you."

The idea that everything that just happened was nothing more than a fever dream meandered back into Goro's brain. He batted it away. 

"If that's the case," he said, reluctantly letting go of Ren, "then we had better stop now before it gets harder."

Ren raised an eyebrow and Goro swatted him gently. "Stop. You know what I mean. I'm not sharing my bed with you if you're going to be like that."

Ren froze. "I was planning," he said slowly, "to sleep on the couch... But sleeping in your bed is fine, too."

Oh, fuck. Goro felt himself turn red, and Ren started smiling as he did so, Goro's face still cupped in his hands. With a half-hearted scowl, Goro turned away and stepped back.

"I'll set aside some clothes for you," he grumbled. "Do you want to turn in now, or...?"

"It's still early for me," Ren said, voice full of laughter. "I don't care what we do, as long as I get to finish my birthday off by spending it with you. Just do what you normally would; I'll borrow a book of yours or something."

"I was planning on just studying all day before I got pulled into your birthday shenanigans."

"Do that, then. I'll read and, uh, calm down."

Goro shook his head and turned to find some clothing for Ren to sleep in, but changed his mind at the last moment and turned back to Ren. He walked back up to him, pressed a chaste kiss to Ren's lips, and then whispered: "Happy birthday."

Ren gave him a loving smile and pressed a kiss back. "Thank you for making it a good one."

— — — 

** Sunday, 14 February: Morning **

Goro woke up to Ren gently running a hand through Goro's hair before pressing a kiss against the back of his neck. Goro shivered from the sensation, and Ren paused before snuggling closer, holding on to Goro as he buried his face in his hair.

"Mmm, good morning," Ren said, voice husky from sleep. His fingers toyed with the hem of Goro's shirt. "I like waking up to you like this."

Goro blinked away some traces of sleep and leaned back into Ren's form, reaching down to entwine his fingers with Ren's. "I could get used to this," he agreed. 

They remained snuggled up against one another for a moment. 

"It's Valentine's Day," Ren said as Goro began to drift off again. "I think I'm going to sleep in more with my boyfriend."

"Oh?" Goro murmured, heart skipping a beat. "Is that what we are?"

"If you want to be."

Of course Goro wanted to. "Ask me properly," he said. He needed confirmation and validation.

Ren kissed him on the back of the neck again, right beneath his ear. "Goro Akechi," he whispered into Goro's ear, "would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?"

Goro felt his face grow warm. He pressed his cheek into his pillow. "Yes."

He felt Ren shift, and then he felt Ren's hands gently turn him over so that he was laying on his back, Ren hovering above him. They kissed, Goro wrapping his arms around Ren's neck and pulling him down. Once, twice, three times they kissed, then Ren settled on top of Goro, face pressed against Goro's neck, and kissed him there.

Goro ran his fingers through Ren's hair as they remained like that. They dozed on and off until the morning light grew strong.

"How long do you want to stay in bed?" Goro asked. 

"As long as we can," Ren said into Goro's neck. "I want to spend Valentine's Day with you like this for as long as possible."

Goro pressed a kiss on top of Ren's head. "Worse ways to spend a Sunday, I suppose."

He expected them to return to their cuddling and dozing, but Ren suddenly shot up, eyes wide and hair a complete mess.

"It's Sunday?" When Goro nodded, he rolled out of bed, leaving Goro confused, alarmed, and—worst of all—cold.

"The Home Shopping Show," Ren yelled as he sprinted out of the room. "I'm gonna miss it!"

Goro stared at the ceiling. "What," he said to it. 

There was the sound of some shuffling in the main area of his apartment, then Futaba's distorted recording from last night started playing from the TV again.

"Honey," Ren said as he returned to the bedroom. Goro rolled over to look at him incredulously. "Futaba's still possessing your TV."

Goro groaned, rolled onto his back again, and then pulled the covers over his head.


End file.
